Leadership 101: Give Respect to Get It 

This is passed down from a long line of soldiers following some green lieutenant into battle. The military is a bit odd in that it often entrusts a young, fresh out of college, second lieutenant to command troops in combat. Those very same troops have years of experience on the second lieutenant, yet they report to him. A wise young officer realizes early on that he had best listen to his troops because that's the best chance he has of surviving. The foolish one is the one who ignores the counsel of his men and charges into situations without the benefit of their wisdom. These same scenarios play out every day in the military in non-combat situations, too. Young officers try and do something the gray-haired old sergeant has seen before. He tries to warn them, but they just won't listen. Forty-eight hours later they find themselves in a world of hurt, getting dressed down by the commanding officer for their rash decisions.  

What do these failures boil down to? The root problem is one of respect. The young officer comes in with the rank of privilege of being an officer. And though young officers have had two to four years of military classes in college, these do little to prepare them fully for the challenges they will face at the start of their career. The military career field is too broad and you just can't teach a person every possible situation that will come. The young officer can't do it alone. And that young officer hasn't realized yet a very simple fact: no ones does it alone. But the young officer looks at the shiny bars on the uniform and says, "I know what I'm doing. I don't need any help." Meanwhile, the grizzled veteran attempts to offer some crucial words of advice, only to be rebuked? Why? Because the young officer doesn't respect the knowledge and opinion of that enlisted person. If the young officer keeps up this trend long enough, he or she will lose the respect of all the enlisted folks who come into close contact with our foolish youngster. 

As Christians, we should first seek to give respect. Treat a person as a person. Treat them as we'd like to be treated. If we abuse someone, even unintentionally, we've hurt our witness towards them. However, if we treat a person with courtesy, they'll likely be more receptive towards us. Jumping up and down and screaming at people we've never met before doesn't work. The only thing we will "reveal" about ourselves if we act in such a manner is we're undisciplined hotheads. Titles like "intolerant," "close-minded," and "bigoted" will be hurled in our direction. We get those insults enough when we act civil and dignified. Why add to that? It's one thing to take a stand for Jesus and what His word says, it's another to be abusive with the Bible as our excuse. Christ himself demonstrated this many times over. One of the examples that sticks out the most to me is the encounter with the centurion. 

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help.  "Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering." 

Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."  
          - Matthew 8:5-7, NIV 

Jesus is speaking here with a Roman centurion, a Gentile. That's right, we've got a scummy Gentile here and he's asking a favor. The centurion's servant is sick and he wants Jesus to come heal the servant. Notice Jesus' response. No big deal, right? Jesus is all about healing people. But actually, there was a huge social and religious ramification. Jesus, by entering the Gentile's house, would have made himself unclean by Jewish tradition. Jesus is ministering to the centurion here, who is obviously concerned about his servant. Jesus also was willing to go into the centurion's home to minister to the servant. This is an example of giving respect to get respect. Jesus is worthy of all respect, honor, glory, power, and praise. Yet his interaction with the centurion is one for us to remember. Now watch the centurion's response: 

The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." 
          - Matthew 8:8-9, NIV 

Did you see that? The centurion cares about his servant, but he doesn't want Jesus to become unclean. The centurion shows Jesus respect by making it clear he understands Jesus doesn't need to come to the house! But the centurion's respect doesn't end there. He declares himself unworthy of our Lord. Though he himself was a leader, the centurion acknowledges Jesus' authority and shows our Savior the respect Jesus deserved. Here we actually see the saying, "Give respect to get it," working both ways. Amazing!  

In reality, this is how we as Christians are supposed to be. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating here accepting sinful behavior against God's word. No. Sin needs to be identified for what it is. But what I am saying is to realize that the one engaged in such behavior should be shown respect and love, too. Remember, Jesus came for all. Even the ones who rebel and reject His gift of grace are loved by our Lord. We should be showing them the same love. We should respect them as people. We should act towards them in the manner we'd want them to act towards us. We must give respect in order to get it. By doing so we can build the relationships with the lost, leading them away from sin and into life with Christ. Respect: it's a two-way street.